


Monster

by Bookwormscififan



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26040916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookwormscififan/pseuds/Bookwormscififan
Summary: This was for the fall fic contest that was run by stop-it-anxiety on tumblr.Virgil feels inadequate after revealing his past, and Thomas helps him feel better.
Kudos: 7





	Monster

Arriving back in his room, Virgil felt his anxiety begin to wash over him. His admission to Thomas had not gone as he hoped. The man barely said anything to comfort him, or convince him he was good. He just… _stared_.

He let his tears fall, hands grasping at his head.

 ** _You’re worthless. You’re the same as before._** He shook his head, trying his best to stop the thoughts. Nothing worked. The voices just raised their volume, a cacophony of voices flooding his mind.

**_Did you really think you’d be redeemed? You’ll never be one of them._ **

“ ** _Stop! Leave me alone!_** ”

“Kiddo?” Virgil opened his eyes.

Patton was standing in his room, looking at the anxious side with concern.

“Are you alright?” Virgil shook his head, looking up as Patton walked across the room to give him a hug.

“ ** _I’m a monster._** ” Patton froze, then tightened his grip.

“Listen to me, Virgil. Just because you were one of… _them_ , doesn’t mean you’re a monster.” Virgil pushed himself away, curling in on himself.

“ ** _I am a monster. What do I do to help Thomas? I make him worse. He can’t sleep because of me. I’m nothing._** ” Patton stared at him, brow furrowed.

“That’s not the only reason why you think you’re a monster, is it?” Virgil glared at him.

**_Get rid of him. You don’t need pity. He’s just going to make you feel better. You don’t want that._ **

“ ** _Patton, go. If you stay here you’ll become worse. Remember what happened last time?_** ” Patton sighed, and began to sink out.

“What you’re doing now? That proves you’re not a monster.” Virgil stared at the empty place, mouth open slightly in thought.

**_You’ve been trying for so long, but nothing worked. You failed. You will always be a dark side. You will never be light._ **

It had been hours. Virgil sat on the stairs, curled into a ball, trying his hardest not to listen to the voices in his head.

 ** _It’s hopeless to try and ignore yourself, Virgil. Just like it’s pointless to go back out there._** Virgil shook his head, letting more tears fall down his cheeks.

“Look at our friend here, struggling to stay light.” Virgil looked up, seeing Deceit and Remus watching him.

“ ** _Go away._** ” Deceit stared at him, making an insulted noise.

“Virgil, have you forgotten that we’re your friends?” Virgil crawled further up the stairs, still curled into a ball.

“ ** _You’re no more my friends than I’m a light side._** ” Remus chuckled, fiddling with the teeth on his outfit.

“That’s very funny, emo. You tried so hard to keep us away, but in the end you still had to reveal yourself. And now none of the lights want to see you.” Virgil shook his head, pressing his hands to his ears.

“ ** _Just leave me alone. You made me reveal myself. You and Dee kept prompting and hinting. I had to say it._** ” Remus and Deceit looked at each other, then back at the anxious side.

“Make up your defences, you already hinted it when you were a puppet.” Virgil raised his head slowly, remembering the song he sang.

“It seems Logan was right. Your silver tongue doesn’t help.” Deceit tugged on his gloves, paraphrasing Logan’s phrase nonchalantly. Virgil leaned forward, hissing at Remus and Deceit until they sank out, laughing.

Virgil stared at his room, at the various places where his ‘friends’ would stand. He stared at the Tim Burton posters, at the spider curtains, and the cobwebs.

“ ** _I’m a monster. Just a conglomeration of bad things. I’m nothing._** ”

 ** _Yes, that’s right. Now you’re listening._** Virgil stood up, walking from place to place and looking at the room from different angles.

Standing in front of the spider curtains, he remembered Patton’s nicknames for him, and his smile.

Tears sprang to his eyes again, and he crumpled to the floor, tears soaking into the curtains. **_Nobody loves you. You loved them once, but they never accepted you for being you. You’re nothing._**

“Virgil? Are you in here?” Virgil looked up at the familiar voice.

“Thomas?” He stood up, looking at the man in the middle of the room.

“Virgil. Why are you staying here?” Virgil slowly crept back to his place opposite Thomas, biting his lip.

“I’m a monster, Thomas. I’m one of the others. I tried so hard to be like Logan, or Patton. But I failed.” Thomas tilted his head, eyes softening. He walked toward Virgil, wrapping him into an embrace.

“Virgil, you didn’t fail. You aren’t a monster. Just because you were one of the dark sides, it doesn’t mean you’re like them.” Virgil shook his head, tears springing to his eyes again.

“I only ever bring you down. I’m only good for making you worry.” Thomas chuckled, a low rumble that Virgil could hear in his chest.

“Don’t be stupid. You’ve forgotten what we talked about the first time you ducked out. You are good for so many reasons. You don’t bring me down.”

Virgil stood back, looking at Thomas.

“Are you sure? Do you mean it?” Thomas nodded.

“Virgil, without you, I can barely function. I have almost gone into a shop without locking my car three times today.” Virgil smiled.

“You could have lost it.” Thomas grinned.

“Yeah, Logan reminded me.” He tilted his head, reaching out and patting Virgil’s shoulder.

“Come back when you’re feeling like it. We’ll be waiting.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! If you liked it, please remember to leave kudos and comments!


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